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Why I Chose To Donate My Hair To Charity

Why I Chose To Donate My Hair To Charity

This time last year I donated my hair to charity. You might be thinking, why didn’t you raise money for an epilepsy charity? But at the time the issue of cancer was close to my heart.

It’s strange when situations happen to us personally, we just battle through them, but if something happens to the ones we love and care about, it affects our emotions deeper somehow. We want to remove the pain and suffering for them and we feel hopeless when there is nothing that we can do.

Cancer has unfortunately affected many people in my family and thankfully there have been good outcomes, but about two years ago I lost a good friend of mine to cancer and it was completely devastating. She was the one of those rare people who was a true friend. She always there for you when you needed her, we may not have seen each other for a while but when we did, you wouldn’t think any time had passed. She was always happy and smiling, and she was genuinely kind. Basically she had all the best qualities a person could have.  We’d known each other since school and I always assumed that we would be in each other’s lives forever, which made it harder when I discovered that I wouldn’t see her anymore. No one wants to say goodbye to someone they care about.

Naturally this leaves a small gap in your life, even now I will be reminded of her, but more than anything I think of her family and her two sisters, I and think of how strong they are.

Last year I decided to try to turn my sadness into hope by trying to help others and raise money for cancer, and because I had very long hair at the time, I realised I could donate my hair and literally give something back.

After witnessing family members having chemotherapy I understood what it was like to lose your hair through cancer treatments. The main charity for hair donations is The Little Princess Trust which makes real hair wigs for children suffering hair loss from illnesses such as alopecia or cancer. This was the charity I decided to support.

Before I donated my hair, I had NEVER had my hair cut short before, so this was a huge step for me. In the end I donated 10 inches of my hair. It was a really strange sensation having so much hair being cut off all at once, feeling the weight disappearing, and holding it after was weird. I couldn’t believe just how heavy it felt.

 

 

My hairdresser was amazing; he helped raise loads of money for me and even cut my hair for free! In the end I raised nearly £1000.

The following weeks and months were unusual as I had loads of people commenting on my short hair. Even now if I meet someone I havent seen in a while they will notice that I have had my haircut.

During the past year, after trying a couple of short styles, I am now growing my hair again.

I have been going through the milestones where I could pin it back, and then tie it back. Although I didn’t mind having short hair, I also missed long hair a little, the one day I realised I could hold my hair comfortably in a ponytail, and there was a lot of hair there! Not tiny strands that escape before I had chance to throw a bobble around them, and I felt pleased. I then considered all the people recovering from cancer treatments that achieve these same milestones but feel a million times happier.

The odd thing I noticed was that I decided to donate my hair as sponsored runs etc. could mean a potential disaster for me and my epilepsy. But people were giving my excellent praise saying I was ‘brave’, as if it was something unusual, and even before I had my hair cut, my hairdressers were giving chances to back out if I wanted. Even though I appreciated their support, I thought –  its only hair. Thinking, I’m lucky, my hair is healthy and it will grow back, and I wanted to help a child who needed it more than me.

I plan to keep growing my hair and have plans for another donation in the future.

Becky 🙂

 

 

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My Time at The Hay Festival 2017

My Time at The Hay Festival 2017

The other week I mentioned that my one passion was music; well, my other passion happens to be books, I’m either spending my free time listening to music, or reading books.

There is a place called Hay-on-Wye, its close to where I live, its full of book shops, and every year it holds a literary and arts festival. You’d think it would be my favourite place, but until this year I had never been there before! 😮

Living close-by I initially planned to visit nearly everyday, but unfortunately my brother injured his back, and needed lifts everywhere, so I didn’t visit Hay as much as I hoped. With regards to my brother, it was nice to finally return the favour, after the many years that he helped me when I couldn’t drive.

I went to Hay twice in the end.

For my first visit I saw Graham Norton, he’s just released his debut novel called Holding, and yes I’ve already read it. I really enjoyed the book and would recommend it. If you’re expecting it to be funny, it’s not, it’s actually a bit of a murder mystery and there are many at cliff hangers. One night while reading the book, I thought I’d read one chapter, I then looked at the clock and realised it was like 2am and I’d read half the book!

 

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Graham Norton, taking questions.

Graham’s talk was interesting, he discussed his book, and he talked about his career. He was exactly like you see him on TV, relaxed and funny. The audience asked questions at the end there were many questions about guests he’s had on his show, such as; ‘Who’s been the sexiest guest?’ – By the way I did not ask that, I didn’t ask any questions, as you will understand in a moment.

 

I was lucky enough to have my book signed by Graham after his talk. Although I didn’t feel nervous approaching him, I just couldn’t think of anything interesting to say, and when I eventually made it to the front of the queue all I said was; ‘How are you?’ which was kind of stupid. But he was really nice, and you will be pleased to know he was in good health.

While I was at Graham’s book signing I also met the historian Lucy Worsley who was also really lovely, I came away with a book signing from her too so it was a very good day!

Due to those family commitments I returned to Hay the following week to see a talk by Professor Noel Fitzpatrick.

Noel’s inspiring talk was on the subject of, The Reformation of Global Health in Man and Animals. I have recently written an article about Noel’s charity The Humanimal Trust, if you want to know more.

Noel is extremely passionate about this topic and I was glad to see so many people there to listen to him. I was also interested to learn about parts of his childhood and the veterinary practices he’d had over the years.

The questions at the end of Noel’s talk were very different compared with Graham Norton’s. Graham’s questions were mainly celeb based which would result in a hilarious story, the atmosphere in the tent with Graham was light and friendly like being with an old friend.

In the same tent, a week later, Noel’s questions were much more personal, some seemed to centre around his wellbeing, making sure he took care of himself, as he so busy with his work (again it wasn’t me). But although there was much laughter during Noel’s talk, it was clear that the audience had huge admiration and warmth for Noel, like a supporting family.

 

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At the end of Noel’s talk, as he leaps into the audience for a photo.

The Hay Festival was amazing to see, with its deck-chairs laid out for you to relax in and read a book, and people of all ages and from all over the world, casually strolling around just enjoying the day.

I also popped to the town which is full of tiny independent shops and loads of books shops.  One book shop in particular was like something from Harry Potter, small from the front but huge on the inside with wide oak floor boards, old wooden shelving, and over three storeys tall. I was in heaven!

Overall I had an incredible time at Hay, I feel incredibly lucky to have seen two brilliant talks, and to have such an amazing place on my doorstep.

I would definitely recommend everyone to visit the Hay Festival one day, especially if you love books of any kind you will really enjoy it. 🙂

Becky

London

London

Words cannot describe how upset I felt to learn of the recent attacks in London. People out for an evening, simply enjoying their lives.

No one should ever have to live in fear of an attack.

We cannot forget that this is not an isolated attack and others are constantly happening all over the world.

I have been disappointed to see so many negative comments today on social media. I was shocked, and even considered removing myself from social media as I began to question its purpose. You would think that during a traumatic time such as this, we would unite, but there were people having heated arguments instead of considering the important things – the innocent victims, and the members of the emergency services risking their lives to save them. I saw ‘friends’ on Facebook suddenly spurting out almost hateful posts which makes me wonder how I was ever friends with them in the first place. Although I understand people may have been frightened, anxious and weary I didn’t think it was an excuse to say hurtful things to others, it should be a time to stand together.

During situations like this, I am reminded of the wisdom of Gandhi:

‘You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.’

And I think that people often lose sight of this. There is more love and good people in the world than bad people. But unfortunately good news doesn’t seem to sell well, so many live their lives in fear.

Yes, there have been more attacks recently and at the moment it’s natural to wonder if they will ever end, or if we will ever be free of them – Gandhi’s advice:

‘When I despair I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murders and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it – always.’

We must have faith, and know that the minority will never win, as Gandhi said humanity is an ocean, and our world contains far more good than bad, and in the end good will alway triumph in the end.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who have been affected by all the recent attacks.

Becky

The Humanimal Trust: Enhancing Our Outlook on Medicine

Humanimal Trust

Many of us have medical complaints or take medications, but how often do we think about the bigger picture?

Did you know that there is a charity that is fully committed to improving how the industry is currently run?

A few of years ago a family friend of ours became a vet and got a job at a famous veterinary practice called Fitzpatrick’s Referrals. If you havent heard of Fitzpatrick’s they have their own TV show called The Supervet, which shows pioneering surgery and treatment for animals.

Before my friend worked there I had honestly never heard of the place, and initially I was tuning in to see if he was on TV – he wasn’t. I think I saw him twice. But it didn’t matter, because I have now became addicted to the programme.

The practice boasts a brilliant and dedicated team and it is clear that for all staff, their job is their passion.

Yes there can be sad moments, but you always know that they give their best and do everything that is humanly possible in order to improve an animal’s quality of life.

The show follows the practice’s owner Professor Noel Fitzpatrick, Noel is like one of those rare teachers you might have had in school with contagious enthusiasm for their subject. He has so much passion about his profession; it makes everyone else just as equally absorbed and you soon realise you have been learning loads while watching the show, to the point where you find yourself talking to friends about stuff like orthopaedics over a cup of coffee!

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Professor Noel Fitzpatrick, founder of The Humanimal Trust

After discovering about Fitzpatrick’s, and adoring the whole ethos of from ther work to the love and hope that they provide to every patient and family that reaches them, I soon found that there was also a charity, founded by Noel Fitzpatrick. You would expect a charity that’s created by a pioneering veterinarian to be focussed on animal health but it’s not. It’s called The Humanimal Trust, and it focuses on humans and animals equally through the concept of one medicine:

The theory is quite simple:

Human + Animal = Humanimal

One medicine is the idea that humans and animals will be treated equally in the field of medicine.

There are basically 3 main parts to the ethos of The Humanimal Trust and their concept of one medicine:

  1. Clinical communication between vets and doctors.

‘Everyday there are advancements and research breakthroughs in both veterinary and human medicine, yet at present neither profession collaborates to share their information that would progress treatments and procedures using regenerative medicine for the benefit of humans and animals simultaneously.’[1]

A couple of weeks ago, I listened to a BBC Radio 4 interview that Noel had taken part in, it discussed the topic of: ‘Should Doctors and Vets Work More Closely Together?’, an audience member mentioned that while working in Australia as a doctor, he and his colleagues learnt that vets had solved a rare medical issue that had been baffling them, the solution was discovered to be a simply a lack of copper absorption. The veterinary community already knew about it and had been treating sheep for it.[2] communication meant that the problem was easily solved.

When I first heard that The Humanimal Trust wants to improve communication, I thought about how beneficial it could be in sourcing medical solutions and treatment for so many people.  young-1835731_1920

As many of you know by now I have epilepsy, and I can remember thinking that if there was a vet somewhere in the world, who had perhaps made immense progress towards epilepsy which could be of benefit to humans, I would like to know about it, and I think many other people would feel the same.

  1. Medication for humans and animals that is ethical

Ethics in medicine is an important topic, and The Humanimal Trust is addressing this.

Currently, if we have any medication or implants they have been tested on animals in order for them to reach us, meaning a perfectly healthy animal has sacrificed its life for our medicine.

In 2015 approximately 4,300 dogs in the UK sacrificed their lives for human medicine, in the USA, that number was nearer 50,000 [3] . These are shocking statistics, and since I have been a child I have always been concerned about animal welfare. I have never been content with the fact that animals have been used to test drugs, and that our only consolation is that it’s safer than endangering human life. But, there could be a possible solution.  The Humanimal Trust proposes that with the diseases and conditions are practically identical in humans and animals, medications and implants could be trialled on animals that are actually unwell, and then co-operate with pharmaceutical companies, which would then produce more ethical medications. [4] This would be benefiting both humans and animals.

Human medicines are huge business, so there is a risk that pharmaceutical companies may see more profit in the way they currently run business. I once sat next to my GP as we went through a list of generic and branded medications that I could have. I saw exactly how much they were costing the NHS to purchase, and the prices were eye-watering.

  1. Clinical Trials

A vital part of The Humanimal Trust is that they also conduct their own clinical studies; The Trust is potentially the only charity of its kind in the world that is funding clinical research in animals and humans at the same time.[5]

It’s understandable that we all want cures and treatments for our illnesses, but there other problems that can also arise without warning, for example MRSA and Ebola. These bugs are the same in humans and animals, so what’s the best plan for when a superbug strikes? Especially as it’s no news that healthcare professionals can sometimes overprescribe antibiotics:

‘You don’t care about MRSA until it’s in your child and yet The Humanimal Trust is funding a project to look at bacterial resistance with over prescription of antibiotics, it’s the same bug. We have DNA mapped, every bug that comes into my practice it’s the same bug that you or your child would have. Why are we not doing a study in parallel? If doctors are going to be over prescribing antibiotics and vets are going to be over prescribing antibiotics,…we are in a mess.’ (Noel Fizpatrick)[6]

 

So that’s the Humanimal Trust!

Im grateful for learning about Fitzpatrick Referrals through The Supervet, I believe that they are more than just a referral practice. They show unconditional love and hope to everyone regardless of whether they are animal or human.

I have been equally appreciative to discover the amazing charity of The Humanimal Trust as the charity also provides that same love and hope with the pledge to benefit both humans and animals.

I truly believe that The Humanimal trust has the potential to change the world of medicine, and benefit so many lives (both human and animal!)

Before I knew about The Humanimal Trust I always believed that our health care system was pretty good, and I couldn’t think of much that needed improvement. I’ve now realised that things could be improved and great things could be gained.

The most important thing that we can do is support them. Here is a link to their website if you would like to know more.

If you would just like to spread the word, feel free to share this article.

 

Thanks for reading!

And thank you to The Humanimal Trust for your support with this article

Becky 🙂

 

[1] http://www.humanimaltrust.org.uk/ 05/2017

[2] http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04zc7ws ,05/2017,  The Evidence: Humans and Animals. Should Doctors and Vets Work More Closely Together? 18:37

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF0FAI0eAKc 05/2017 Professor Noel Fitzpatrick at The Hay Festival 2016

[4] http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04zc7ws 05/2017, The Evidence: Humans and Animals. Should Doctors and Vets Work More Closely Together?

[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eoeRRcIzt8 05/2017, The Humanimal Trust, Sharing the Message

[6]http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04zc7ws 05/2017, The Evidence: Humans and Animals. Should Doctors and Vets Work More Closely Together?

[7] pictures courtesy of The Humanimal Trust: http://www.humanimaltrust.org.uk/ 05/2017

 

 

Surprising Update: Are You A Daffodil or A Dandelion?

Surprising Update: Are You A Daffodil or A Dandelion?

Do you remember the blog I wrote a few weeks back called, ‘Are You A Daffodil or A Dandelion?’ I mentioned that although people swoon over the popular flowers, they can be delicate, unlike the sturdy dandelion that seems to survive everything.

Well I can’t believe it, for the first time ever, we have had a sudden frost and lots of the summer plants have wilted 😦

I was in the garden looking at the hydrangea plant and I thought it was burnt, all the little buds had gone. I felt pretty upset as I love all the huge pomp-pomp like flowers that it has. There definitely won’t be any this year.

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The frost-bitten hydrangea

I went to the blossom tree at the front of the garden and that was the same. The leaves were ok, but the blossom was brown, and it looked as though tiny little bats were hanging from it instead of the pretty pink blossom that was supposed to be there.

But all the dandelions and the forget-me-nots? Well of course they were fine. Once again it proves that these plants are the survivor’s. As the other plants have wilted and died around them in an overnight frost, they have continued to thrive. Nothing seems to stop them. I knew there was a reason why I have always liked wildflowers, they have their own beauty and they’re tough.

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When you’re having a bad day, or people’s words are getting you down, think about how you’d like to be. Do you want to be like the wildflower or the spring flower? Will you be strong or fragile?

I know you will be the person who will get through everything because you are strong. Because those worse days you’ve had? You’ve survived them.

You’re doing great.

 

Thanks for reading,

Becky 🙂

How Important is Music?

How Important is Music?

I believe that music is an important part of everyone’s life.

I sometimes wonder how many of us really acknowledge how important music is to us.

When you think about it, everyone likes some form of music. It doesn’t matter who you are or what mood you’re in, there is always a song for you.

Whoever you meet there is always a genre of music that they adore and I always love finding out what type of music they enjoy listening to.

Whatever music you like I am confident there have been times where you have heard your favourite song and turned it up, and found yourself feeling instantly happier, or stumbled across an old song and been hit with a rush of nostalgia.

I love all the varying feelings that music can instigate.

Do many of us really appreciate the amazing ability that music has?

Music is a part of our daily life and I wonder how many people realise its power and importance? One song can have the ability to reach millions of people and music can change and lift people’s spirits and alter their lives. I have witnessed older members of the community overcome loneliness purely through music groups, and I have seen people of all ages and backgrounds come together due to having the same enthusiasm over a band. Music can benefit and unite so many people.

It’s such a wonderful feeling when you hear a song with perhaps an incredible melody, moving harmonies, or lyrics that seem to personally speak to you.

Many of us will have a favourite song that we will never tire of, that either connects to us emotionally or lifts our spirits. Mine is, Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. Its one of those songs that makes me happier, I’ve listened to it countless times and I still love it. A few years ago I was shopping, and they were playing that very song, I was miming away to the song and looked up to see everyone else, all age ranges doing exactly the same. (I knew that song was good.) I have never witnessed anything like this before or since. I guess it goes to show that songs don’t have to be brand new to connect audiences, it doesn’t matter when they were written, some will have the ability to connect with a wide range of people.

How has music helped me?

I am constantly drawn to music and when I need a bit of escapism, music is the perfect solution. I am confident that many other people will be the same. I am the type of person who will listen to every genre of music and finds it hard to choose a favourite style or artist, I like nearly everything.

I think with having epilepsy, I will do anything that can help keep stress and anxiety reduced, and for me music is ideal.

When I was a teenager, I also studied music. Being recently diagnosed with epilepsy, this was something good to focus on and I ended up learning to play four instruments. This sounds impressive but they are all woodwind instruments which are very similar to each other, they are; clarinet, saxophone, flute and oboe.

I would always recommend someone to learn music as I have enjoyed it so much. Perhaps if you have a child with epilepsy and want them to have a hobby, I would suggest music lessons as not only does it help develop abilities in maths and social skills, but it also builds on confidence skills in a non-strenuous or competitive way. I enjoyed music so much that it is still a great part of my life today.

Would you consider music to be an important part of your life?

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

 

 

 

Benefits of a Seizure Diary

Benefits of a Seizure Diary

Years ago, I was advised to record any auras or seizures that I was experiencing. In all honesty I thought it wouldn’t be that beneficial, as my healthcare advisers had only advised me to record seizure activity. So being the organised teenager I was, I just wrote them down on the family calendar… which wasn’t that helpful. Plus I forgot to record most of them.

One Christmas I was given a small diary/calendar and initially I didn’t think I would use it until I decided that it could be beneficial as a seizure diary.  I always kept it near-by and I would make a record if I had an aura or seizure. Not only that, but I would also note how I had been feeling around that time, and would mention if I had exams etc. or if I had been particularly stressed or anxious about anything.

I was surprised by how well it worked. I was able to look over the weeks and months to see exactly what triggered my auras. The majority of the time, it was a combination of stress and fatigue. It was a relief to look back at the diary and realise that an aura didn’t always appear out of nowhere, it mainly happened due to other events in life. After that I made sure that I took better care of my health to deter auras and seizures.

I now have a collection of tiny diaries where I can glance over the years and see exactly how I had been feeling.

I would definitely recommend anyone with epilepsy to have their very own seizure diary as it could help identify their seizure triggers.

I only wish that I had started keeping a seizure diary sooner.

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

Epilepsy Treatments

Epilepsy Treatments

When it comes to treating epilepsy there are various treatments available.

When a person is first diagnosed with epilepsy, they are usually given medications called anti-epileptic drugs or (AEDs), these aim to reduce seizures.

Many AEDs can have side effects and sadly not every medication will be an instant success.

For many, it’s a case of trial and error. It can be normal for people to try several medications before they find one that works for them, and for lots of people, they can even take several  different medications at the same time.

Your body can also take a little while to adjust to these new medications. Strong side effects may be temporary, so if you’re trying new medicine and your neurologist wants  you to continue with it a little longer, don’t be upset as the side effects may soon subside.

If you have tried loads of medications and haven’t come across one that has helped yet, don’t lose hope. There is always the possibility that one in the future will work perfectly for you.

Tips:

  • Try to take your medication at regular intervals, E.G. If you take them twice a day, try spacing them 12hrs apart, and use an alarm to remind you. Originally I would take my medication whenever I remembered, and it wasn’t a successful tactic.
  • Withdrawing from medication – If you decide that you no longer want to take your medication, always consult your doctor and you will be slowly taken off  your tablets. If you suddenly stop taking your medication, you could become very unwell.
  • If you decide to take a new herbal remedy consider consulting with a healthcare professional or pharmacist. Many remedies can interact with medications and epilepsy. For example, St. John’s Wort is not recommended for people with epilepsy as it interacts with medications.

Anti-epileptic drugs are normally the first form of treatment for epilepsy, but they are not the only form of treatment for epilepsy. If you find that your seizures are difficult to manage, there are other treatments such as:

Ketogenic Diet –  Which is a high fat low carbohydrate diet, to help control epilepsy. This diet is mainly used for children, but some adults may benefit from it. If you are considering the ketogenic diet it’s recommended that you to speak to your doctor and dietician for advice and supervision.

Surgeries:

VNS – Vagus Nerve Stimulation is an implanted device which is similar to a pacemaker; it sends electrical impulses to the vagus nerve (the nerve between the neck at the brain) at regular intervals. The number of impulses can be increased by sweeping a magnet across the VNS generator, preventing or stopping a seizure. Want to know more? Learn more here

DBS – Deep Brain Stimulation, is an implanted medical device that sends electrical impulses to the brain. This is a fairly new epilepsy treatment, it was originally used for conditions such as Parkinson’s Disease. It aims to reduce excess electrical activity in the brain and It may be offered to people who cannot have brain surgery. Its effectiveness for epilepsy is still being researched. You and read more about DBS, here.

Brain Surgery involves being referred to a specialist brain surgery clinic. The overall aim of brain surgery is naturally to reduce to stop seizures but to also consider the patients quality of life. Brian surgery, is frequently carried out to people who have head traumas or tumours is which affected or caused their epilepsy, but brain surgery can be offered to many people, and is becoming increasing popular in helping control people’s seizures. If you want to know more about brain surgery, you can learn more here.

These are the main types of treatments that a neurologist might suggest to help control someones epilepsy.

In the UK, 7 in 10 could be seizure free with the right treatment, 5 in 10 currently are.

Hope it’s been helpful! If you have any questions or comments feel free to let me know!

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

Auras: Do They Help or Hinder?

Auras: Do They Help or Hinder?

When someone has epilepsy, they can also have auras.

What’s an Aura?

An aura is basically a warning that a seizure is about to happen. They can be different for everyone, meaning that the symptoms, the intensity and amount of auras can be different for each person, plus not everyone with epilepsy will suffer with auras.

What are Auras Like?

Here are some examples of what auras can be like. They can have varying symptoms. Some people might have just one symptom or a combination of symptoms:

  • Tingling or numbness
  • Feeling of déjà vu
  • Having a strange taste in their mouth
  • Hearing a strange sound or ringing
  • Smelling an odd smell (normally bad)
  • A tight feeling in the stomach or throat
  • Seeing flashing lights or colours

(You can look here for a more complex list of aura symptoms if you wish)

During my time with epilepsy auras have hindered my life more than seizures. When my epilepsy was uncontrolled I would perhaps have 2 tonic-clonic seizures per year at the most. This surprised many people, even my doctors. But I could suffer with auras daily, and as they are warnings for ‘seizures yet to come’, I was constantly worried.

I don’t know how common this is, but I have always had a rough pattern to my auras, the symptoms would initially begin light and build to a terrifying experience. The benefit of this? Observers know whats coming, next.

A description of a strong Aura I have experienced:

  • Starts with a sinking feeling, and then my stomach churns.
  • Déjà vu kicks in and I start staring at a point in the room considering the notion of familiarity during that moment in time, I also have a sense of panic as I don’t like what’s happening.
  • Next, although I don’t hallucinate or physically see anything, I feel as though a dream is replaying in my head really fast (this is something I hate), combined with that feeling of déjà vu.
  • Then, I feel as though I am just watching myself on automatic as I see myself go from one room to the next and I don’t feel as though I’m consciously doing it.
  • I’m usually very sick, so I watch myself run to the bathroom.
  • Witnesses have been afraid that I am no longer myself but I’ve always been fully aware of my surroundings, I’ve been afraid as I know what’s to come. It’s like falling down the rabbit hole (like my reference?*) knowing you can’t return after a certain point.
  • I try to resist the auras and communicate with others about what’s happening. But at this point the aura has become too intense and my speech and communication has begun to suffer, its infuriating as inside the information is clear and no matter what you try to do no one understands you.

 

It would be rare for auras to get that intense, and I would start to panic if  I’d begin feeling sick with them.

I found that looking after myself e.g. getting rest or removing myself from worry was all that I needed to stop the auras.

I once had a job which was extremely stressful. On a few occasions I was aware of my auras building, as I couldn’t remove the stress in work the auras continued to build. On one occasion, some visitors came into my office to find me clutching my bin on my lap as I felt so nauseous and disorientated. I instantly threw the bin on the floor when they entered, but that’s when I realised that my job was affecting my epilepsy too much, it was taking me to the most dangerous part of my auras. I had prioritised my job over my health because that’s what the company wanted me to do. The moment I left, my health  instantly improved.

Auras are a mixed blessing when it comes to epilepsy.  I personally feel they have been the hardest part for me to deal with. I have been known to have a bad aura in the morning and cancel a whole day of plans out of fear of what might happen.  But at the end of the day, although they have been traumatic to experience, whoever knows me can see that a seizure might happen and can look after me purely due to auras.

How do auras affect your epilepsy?  Do they help or hinder?

Feel free to leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

* It’s suggested that Lewis Carroll author of Alice in Wonderland, had epilepsy considering the detailing in the book it is similar to what someone might experience during an aura etc.

 

My Battle with Epilepsy, Searching For a Cause

My Battle with Epilepsy, Searching For a Cause

Many of us after we are diagnosed with epilepsy search of a reason as to how it’s entered our life. Here’s my story:

After being diagnosed with epilepsy it wasn’t long until I (and my family) began looking over my past trying to get a possible idea as to why this thing might have appeared so abruptly in my life.

I couldn’t understand how I had been perfectly healthy for so many years and then, one day, I had epilepsy. I felt that there had to be a reason.

I thought that even though I had been given the common ‘unknown cause’ to my diagnosis, at the time I thought that if I could pinpoint where it may have come from, I could work out how to get rid of it.

There was one notion in particular that played on my mind for quite a while and which I thought had caused my epilepsy. When you initially consider a theory like this your are filled with guilt for potentially giving yourself a lifelong condition.

When I was a child I was a tomboy and I loved climbing trees etc. and basically I was accident prone.

I cut my eyebrow open when I was 5, after I ran into a swinging-swing in the park.

I also split the top of my forehead open when I was 8 after sitting on top of some railings and swinging down and hitting my head on the bottom one.

So now I’m left with two scars on my forehead which I usually hide with a fringe.

I went to hospital after both these accidents, but it was only as a teenager that I realised, that the swing incident had briefly knocked me out. One moment I was seeing a swing fly towards me, and the next my friends mum was carrying me home.

Naturally I battled with the idea that this and the other knock to my head may have caused my epilepsy for a long time believing that it had definitely caused my epilepsy. But other relatives were also coming up with their own suggestions, from TB jabs to what I had eaten an hour before being admitted to hospital. I obviously dismissed these, and I know my family were coming from a good place but as you can imagine, sometimes this irritated me or even embarrassed me.

I have a particular memory of being in hospital and a doctor chatting to me and looking at my notes; he looked confused as he said to me:

‘It says on here you, ate some…cheese?’ I then had to explain to him that it must have been my dad’s crazy suggestion as he’s allergic to penicillin. He replied with, ‘I see’ and frantically scribbled it out.

For a very long time I truly believed that I had brought my epilepsy on myself even though the doctors could find no cause, and every test and brain scan has comeback clear – thankfully.

6/10 people living with epilepsy will never know what causes it for them, and I believe that is human to try to find a reason or cause when something alters in our health or life.

After I accepted my epilepsy I also accepted the fact that my epilepsy has no cause. When I consider the evidence, a 9 year delay for epilepsy from concussion is a bit unheard of. I think if my epilepsy was caused by my minor head injuries it would have entered my life much sooner.

The most important thing I’ve accepted is that even if I knew my epilepsy was caused by a particular thing from my past it doesn’t matter as it’s now in the past, the most important thing is the present and future, making sure that I don’t worry about things that I cannot change, and looking after my health.

Thanks for reading,

Becky 🙂