Onwards

Onwards I ran,

From the ghosts of my past,

Through the forests I fled,

With no forward plan,

Just onwards I ran,

My sore, aching feet,

Always longing for rest,

Yet further I pushed,

Deep into darkness,

To the cold claws of night,

Hoping to find a feint glimmer of light,

Still onwards I ran, and I ran till I saw,

The bright light of day,

And nothing more.

– Becky

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Society

I loathe society,

Always preaching;

What to do,

Where to go,

What we should achieve,

Society says that if we listen,

If we obtain its ‘ideal’ goals,

Happiest will be found,

But is this true?

We cannot all be expected to achieve the same,

Everyone holds such individual dreams,

So, next time society says you have wandered,

Ignored it,

You are living the life you are meant to.

 

 

-Becky

To My Select Few; I Love You

I’m told I’m selective,

Too choosy with others

To hold close in my life,

I believe I have good reason.

Its hard to open up,

Explain your life to someone

View their silent judgements,

And watch them walk away.

They never knew,

But if I become honest,

It means I value you,

It means I trust you.

So If you stay,

Accept me, and witness my weakness,

Know it’s rare,

Know you are part of my select few,

Know that I love you.

My First Childhood Hero

I have planned to periodically write about people who have inspired me.

There are many role models in my life, which include both world-renowned legends and treasured family members. I love discovering new people who inspire me and I look forward to sharing the varying characters with you.

By the way, my list of role models expands continually. I think you can never have too many people to look up to.

The person I am going to write about today was the first person I can truly remember looking up to as a child and aspiring to be like in the future.

I am sure many of you have already guessed who I am about to write about as this day is particularly poignant for them (31/08/2017).

This person is Princess Diana.

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Even though I was only a small child when she passed away, I has always saw her face on the news and in the papers. Although my parents sheltered me from the difficulties that she was dealing with in the early nineties. From my point of view – as a child, I always saw Diana as the princess; of course she would always be in the paper.

After Diana sadly passed away, I soon discovered that there was a little bit more to Diana than I originally knew. I naturally became curious to learn more about her, so my Mum bought me a little Ladybird book about her.I adored that book.

 

I couldn’t believe how many lives she had altered. I learnt about her selfless nature to help others, the fact that she was a devoted mother…and had the best dresses in the world! For me as a little girl she seemed like the perfect hero, who oozed unconditional love. I could not find anything I didn’t like about her.

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Looking back, I think it’s an unusual thing, to be a young child and be inspired by such a strong influential woman, who was committed to helping others and make a good impression on the world. This is something that has stayed with me through to adulthood; Princess Diana is still a powerful influence on my life, as I believe she is for millions of other people.

Twenty years on, people still remember and miss her.

There are very few people in this world that are huge positive influencers, making great changes to the world, breaking down stigmas, and that help and support anyone who needs it.

I am glad that I had Princess Diana was my first role model, I believe she is the best person a child could look up to.

 

 

Thanks for reading,

Becky 🙂

 

Is the Grass Always Greener On The Other Side?

We have all heard the idiom, ‘the grass is always green on the other side’. I think many of us have experienced pangs of envy when we believe other people are achieving more than us or getting further in life.

But as I am the type of person who enjoys observing and listening to others, I learnt long ago that no one’s life is perfect, and know that there is no such thing as a perfect life. Life will throw obstacles in your way and you have to get around them. But I think that many believe that life should be one easy road and give up at the first hurdle.

There have been increasing occasions where I’ll be at a friend or relatives house. They’ll be a feeling a little low, and will tell me about their worries, whether its financial, career etc. then they will refer to another friend or relative and dreamily mention how they admire some aspect of their lives saying how they’ve got it, ‘all sorted out’.

But little do they know that those people they wistfully mention also possess many problems (because they tell me), and they do the same thing, either by mentioning about others that they think have a perfect life – or they refer back to the original person, admiring a part of their life.

It’s like a big circle!  (I don’t say anything as I’m not going to betray trust), but in these increasingly occurring situations I don’t know whether to find the situation funny or sad.

I imagine lining up the whole group of interconnected family and friends and telling them one by one the amazing things that everyone else admires about them.

I think this is something that we frequently overlook. We see people achieving things that we hope for, but we often ignore amazing accomplishments that we have made ourselves, and don’t believe for one second that someone else would want to be in our shoes.

So, is the grass always greener on the other side? No, it isn’t, it’s purely down to the way you view the world. You can’t look at another person and assume that they are happier as you’re only looking at the part of their life that you want to look at. Their best part, which is nice I guess.

But, if you constantly consider people around you to be more successful and happier, then naturally it will tear away at you. I have known people who have been so focused on what others are achieving that they don’t pay enough attention to their own happiness, and that’s the crux of the matter. It doesn’t matter what you’re achieving or what you possess, it’s whether you are happy.

Don’t think for one moment that you must have your life sorted out. I believe the best thing you can do in life is to be happy, let go of the petty everyday problems, appreciate everything in everyday and love everyone in your life.

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

Epilepsy and The World of Work

Today, I thought I would share with you some experiences of epilepsy in the workplace.

Entering the world of work when you have epilepsy can seem like a daunting task, as a teenager I didn’t worry too much about it. I took my first job working in a chemist, while I was studying…safe place to be 🙂

My manager was excellent, and she also taught me that it’s never too late to change a career as she qualified as a pharmacist in her 40s after bringing up her family.

At university and I was glad to find that all my lecturers and friends were also very supportive when they learnt about my epilepsy.

So… I naively thought that my future workplaces would be the same.

Since leaving university I have had a couple of jobs, and I have received mixed responses to epilepsy.

My manager at my first job after uni gave no empathy when I had been unwell and required a day or two off work, he just gave pressure for me to return. When I did, he said, “This better not become a regular occurrence.”  About a year later another colleague was taken on, and when I had the courage to tell him that I had epilepsy I was hugely relieved as he had personal experiences with epilepsy, and wasnt phased by the condition at all. It was good to know that there was someone there if I needed them.

My most recent job shocked me the most. I faced a difficult decision of whether to mention my epilepsy at the interview stage, I decided to remain silent as I was afraid it would ruin my chances of getting the job. But, I got the job!…obviously.

Weeks later, there were talks of me potentially travelling with the company, thoughts of travel insurance and things were bothering me, so I decided to have a chat with my manager and tell him about my epilepsy. He didn’t take it the news well. Although he didn’t say anything bad, he went red, his eyes darted rapidly back and forth for the remainder of the conversation, no matter how many times I told him, ‘it’s mild’, ’It’s controlled’ etc. Things were never the same after that, he didn’t chat to me the same, I think he had become afraid of me in some way, and where we’re originally getting along so well, things had become tense and awkward.

What’s more, I discovered that nearly all my colleagues in the company had very old-fashioned views when it came to epilepsy, I heard them gossiping and laughing about another co-worker, thinking that all seizures are triggered by flashing lights or worse, that it had connections with insanity.  It was this moment that I realised that I could never be open and honest with my colleagues about my epilepsy as they were just not educated enough about the subject, and I was afraid of their judgements.

This company was the biggest that I had worked for, but its employees were the most unprofessional and closed-minded that I had ever seen and it shocked me. The experience at that company has been  the inspiration to this blog as I think it’s important to support people with epilepsy when they’re having a rough time and its vital reach as many people who don’t know about enough about epilepsy to stop stigmas.

 

My advice for work is to find something that makes you truly happy.

Doing a job you love, with colleagues you are also supportive of you.

 

You can find more tips and advice about epilepsy and the workplace at Epilepsy Society

Thanks for reading,

Becky 🙂