Epilepsy Positivity

OK, this might be hard, I know. How can you look at epilepsy, the condition that takes away your independence and strength, and look at it positively?  Trust me there have been many days where I have hated what’s been happening to me and felt weak. I’m sure you have felt the same, its natural.

One time, I had been feeling down for days and it dawned on me that I could dwell on my sorrows for as long as I wanted – it’s not going to change my situation, my epilepsy was now a part of me and I could either keep fighting and be fearful of it, or I could accept it and embrace it. And if it happens, it happens. I just have to remember it’s not my fault.

I questioned the reasoning of how this ended up in my life, ‘why me’ – but it’s not going alter anything.  I quickly opened my eyes to the world around me, yes I my condition is nasty and I can’t do some of the things my friends do. But compared to so many other people in the world I am extremely lucky.

I noticed how much my family, and friends loved and cared for me. They don’t always show it in a mushy way, but they are they by my side when I need them.

Many philosophers and religions believe that we are here in life to learn lessons. I  then thought that maybe having epilepsy as part of my life is something that I need to learn from and be comfortable with.

Epilepsy can be a worrying and frightening experience for many people. I discovered that looking at my epilepsy in more of a positive light, helped remove a huge amount of anxiety for me.

However you currently feel about epilepsy, I hope everyone with epilepsy will be able to be positive and free from anxiety.

Becky 🙂




Keeping Relaxed

Many people who have epilepsy find that the stresses of day-to-day life can aggravate their condition.

During one of my most stressful times – university where I was also battling a crazy family life, people were suggesting for me to take up yoga, but I couldn’t find the time, spare money or a lift to the classes.

Naturally, I find doing the things that make you happy to be an excellent way of reducing stress.

But even then, I have had trouble sleeping.

One effective way of relaxing I find is through meditation, I listen to recordings on YouTube before I go to sleep, as this is the time my mind is really overactive.  I find these recordings to be incredibly effective at removing that constant chatter, helping me sleep.

I know that not many people have tried meditation at they think it’s a bit ‘out there’, but it really does relax you and clear your mind, I would recommend it to anybody.

For example, I was listening to one the other night and woke up about 4am wondering why I was uncomfortable – I had fallen asleep during the recording and still had my giant headphones on!

I’ve also listened to meditations the night before tests as they help promote positivity and self believe, which is perfect for me, and you do wake up with a much more confident attitude.

Here is a sample video from Youtube 


  • The majority of relaxing music is just that, with ocean waves and gentle music. It will just remove the over thinking in your mind and allow you to relax.
  • There are some videos which use things such as white noise and… alpha waves? Some descriptions have an epilepsy warning in them so I would steer clear of them. You can always consult a healthcare professional you want to listen to them.
  • Some tracks are really relaxing others are annoying, and a little cheesy, but it’s about finding something you like. I have had similar results with classical music but I do find that sometimes I end up listening to the music!
  • Last tip, if you have an iPhone and you want to save your battery, once the video starts playing, press the off button on your phone once so the screen goes black. The video will stop playing, but when you press the home key, on the screen you will notice you can press play without seeing the video, just tap the phone screen off again and it will continue playing for you!

I hope you’ll give it a try to see it helps you stay relaxed.

Becky 🙂



Last Night I was reminded that this time last year I had my first driving test.

I don’t remember anniversaries or milestones to the exact date, I’m quite rare like that. I will have a date down somewhere when my last seizure was but I don’t know it off the top of my head.

This post has been difficult for me to write as I don’t want you to view it as a boast of my ability to drive. More of the amazing achievements people with epilepsy can still accomplish that they never thought were possible. For me driving has been one of my biggest achievements of my life, and the hardest. I NEVER thought I would drive…Ever. A few years ago if you said to me that I would be driving one day I would have laughed at you.

It took me several attempts to pass my test – solely down to nerves as I had made such a big deal out it. I was failing on very small, silly errors, which naturally hit my confidence, but a few tests later I eventually passed.

There were odd times that I did consider giving up (especially as each test was so expensive!) But I am glad I continued.

I know that there will be many more goals related to epilepsy that I will have to work on in the future, such as having a family, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I’m sure that there have been many achievements that you have accomplished while having epilepsy, and through your determination and strength you are able to look back on them with pride. But whatever goal you are currently working towards in your life don’t give up on it, you need to believe in yourself and know that you can do it. 🙂

Accepting Epilepsy – My Story

I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 14 years old. How did this affect me?

Initially I thought that I had coped immensely well and that the new diagnosis in my life had no impact on me. I was adamant that I was going to maintain a normal life as much as I could and not let epilepsy stop me from doing things I loved. Any outsider would have thought I was managing extremely well.

But when I looked back at my thoughts and feelings at this time and compared them to how I feel about my epilepsy today. I realised that I had some problems:

I found it hard to come to terms that I actually had epilepsy.

I know this sounds bizarre, but someone only told me that I’d had seizures and epilepsy. I didn’t witness these attacks, I just had to take their word for it. Yes, I felt unwell before and after the events and the doctors gave me brain scans etc. But you don’t witness epilepsy like perhaps someone with asthma.

I never doubted that I had epilepsy, but for a long time after I couldn’t even imagine myself having an unconscious seizure.  I can remember being in hospital once, and I tried to picture what it must have been like. Thinking (my teenage self) I hope I wasn’t embarrassing (not much you can do about that is there!). Then I thought of my parents, and how worried they must have been. But still, did this really happen…to me?

I didn’t want to hear about/see epilepsy in the media:

For a long time if I ever came across epilepsy on TV, films or news it always showed epilepsy in a negative light. It always seemed to be telling a story of a person with epilepsy who ‘died’, and it really frightening me. I know that there are dangers with epilepsy just like there are with most things in life, but to be constantly bombarded with the notion that epilepsy means death was very upsetting for a young teenager. So much so, that I isolated myself from anything online or on TV that mentioned epilepsy for quite a while. As I got older I realised that the sad stories are broadcast because they are very rare, if they happened all the time, it wouldn’t be news.

I saw a documentary called ‘Epilepsy and Me’ which I believe was on the BBC; I was very hesitant to watch it as I was afraid of becoming upset. I found the whole documentary really interesting and it educated others on the different aspects of epilepsy and how people live with it. Yes I found it a little upsetting to have to watch others suffering seizures but I think it also helped me accept my own epilepsy a lot more as I didn’t feel so alone.

I didn’t want to talk about my epilepsy:

I wouldn’t tell people I had epilepsy. I am confident that there are friends I went to school, college and uni with who probably never knew that I had epilepsy. Mostly people discovered about my epilepsy at pubs of all places, when they couldn’t understand why I was ordering a soft drink, and would ask if I was driving. I’d say that I didn’t drive. Then they HAD to know what was going on! So as you can guess, most dates deciphered that I had epilepsy within 10mins. What a mood killer.

I would also dread someone asking after my health. Close friends or family members would frequently enquire ‘how’ve you been recently? You know…Any troubles?’  For some reason it made me feel sick. As a teenager I wanted to put epilepsy to the back of my mind, and when people kept asking me about it, it reminded me of it too much, it depressed me and reminded me that this ‘thing’ could be making an appearance into my life again any day soon.


When you look over these three things it’s pretty obvious that deep down I wasn’t comfortable with my epilepsy. Epilepsy is a peculiar and difficult condition to come to terms with, so I can completely empathise with anyone else who has had a similar experience.

For such a long time I thought that I had no problem with my epilepsy until I realised that for years I had basically been trying to ignore it. Hoping it wasn’t going to pounce into my day and spoil it, whether that was the seizure itself or even just reading about it in the news! But as I got older I realised that my epilepsy is not an awful case, I still maintain a huge amount of independence and as things go I am extremely fortunate. I’ve learnt to embrace my epilepsy; I’ve learnt to accept it. It’s going to be a part of me for a very long time. It’s an extra thing that makes me a little more unique, and we are all amazing and unique!


Explaining Epilepsy

Ok we’ve all experienced this, having to tell someone either that you have epilepsy or what epilepsy is…or both, and it can be difficult sometimes especially depending on the person or setting. The first few times I can remember wondering how I was going to explain the topic of epilepsy to another person.

I try and think of the quote from Albert Einstein, ‘If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.’

The following, is very similar to what I tell people who want to know more about epilepsy without it becoming too technical, I find it works well as people can relate to it easily:

Epilepsy can affect ANYONE. (Sorry to scare you, but it’s a fact.) Anyone can have a seizure if they are tired enough, if their temperature is too high or if their have had a brain injury. The average person has a strong seizure threshold meaning that they have to become very unwell to suffer a seizure, but a person with epilepsy has a weaker seizure threshold which results in them having seizure much more easily.

Yes, I have said this a few times and it has worked, people do seem to be able to relate to it I guess.

I know sometimes you feel like your on your own, explaining something over and over again to people about something which is quite unusual, and pretty complex. Thats why I went for my angle, it makes it appear less scary.

Sometimes I have tried to be more, well, matter of fact with, ‘We all have electrical activity in our brains, well epilepsy is a surge of that electrical activity…’ and they’ve already glazed over. But perhaps its just the people I know.

I am really interested to know what angles you take, if you choose to take them.