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Is the Grass Always Greener On The Other Side?

Is the Grass Always Greener On The Other Side?

We have all heard the idiom, ‘the grass is always green on the other side’. I think many of us have experienced pangs of envy when we believe other people are achieving more than us or getting further in life.

But as I am the type of person who enjoys observing and listening to others, I learnt long ago that no one’s life is perfect, and know that there is no such thing as a perfect life. Life will throw obstacles in your way and you have to get around them. But I think that many believe that life should be one easy road and give up at the first hurdle.

There have been increasing occasions where I’ll be at a friend or relatives house. They’ll be a feeling a little low, and will tell me about their worries, whether its financial, career etc. then they will refer to another friend or relative and dreamily mention how they admire some aspect of their lives saying how they’ve got it, ‘all sorted out’.

But little do they know that those people they wistfully mention also possess many problems (because they tell me), and they do the same thing, either by mentioning about others that they think have a perfect life – or they refer back to the original person, admiring a part of their life.

It’s like a big circle!  (I don’t say anything as I’m not going to betray trust), but in these increasingly occurring situations I don’t know whether to find the situation funny or sad.

I imagine lining up the whole group of interconnected family and friends and telling them one by one the amazing things that everyone else admires about them.

I think this is something that we frequently overlook. We see people achieving things that we hope for, but we often ignore amazing accomplishments that we have made ourselves, and don’t believe for one second that someone else would want to be in our shoes.

So, is the grass always greener on the other side? No, it isn’t, it’s purely down to the way you view the world. You can’t look at another person and assume that they are happier as you’re only looking at the part of their life that you want to look at. Their best part, which is nice I guess.

But, if you constantly consider people around you to be more successful and happier, then naturally it will tear away at you. I have known people who have been so focused on what others are achieving that they don’t pay enough attention to their own happiness, and that’s the crux of the matter. It doesn’t matter what you’re achieving or what you possess, it’s whether you are happy.

Don’t think for one moment that you must have your life sorted out. I believe the best thing you can do in life is to be happy, let go of the petty everyday problems, appreciate everything in everyday and love everyone in your life.

Thanks for reading!

Becky 🙂

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Epilepsy and The World of Work

Epilepsy and The World of Work

Today, I thought I would share with you some experiences of epilepsy in the workplace.

Entering the world of work when you have epilepsy can seem like a daunting task, as a teenager I didn’t worry too much about it. I took my first job working in a chemist, while I was studying…safe place to be 🙂

My manager was excellent, and she also taught me that it’s never too late to change a career as she qualified as a pharmacist in her 40s after bringing up her family.

At university and I was glad to find that all my lecturers and friends were also very supportive when they learnt about my epilepsy.

So… I naively thought that my future workplaces would be the same.

Since leaving university I have had a couple of jobs, and I have received mixed responses to epilepsy.

My manager at my first job after uni gave no empathy when I had been unwell and required a day or two off work, he just gave pressure for me to return. When I did, he said, “This better not become a regular occurrence.”  About a year later another colleague was taken on, and when I had the courage to tell him that I had epilepsy I was hugely relieved as he had personal experiences with epilepsy, and wasnt phased by the condition at all. It was good to know that there was someone there if I needed them.

My most recent job shocked me the most. I faced a difficult decision of whether to mention my epilepsy at the interview stage, I decided to remain silent as I was afraid it would ruin my chances of getting the job. But, I got the job!…obviously.

Weeks later, there were talks of me potentially travelling with the company, thoughts of travel insurance and things were bothering me, so I decided to have a chat with my manager and tell him about my epilepsy. He didn’t take it the news well. Although he didn’t say anything bad, he went red, his eyes darted rapidly back and forth for the remainder of the conversation, no matter how many times I told him, ‘it’s mild’, ’It’s controlled’ etc. Things were never the same after that, he didn’t chat to me the same, I think he had become afraid of me in some way, and where we’re originally getting along so well, things had become tense and awkward.

What’s more, I discovered that nearly all my colleagues in the company had very old-fashioned views when it came to epilepsy, I heard them gossiping and laughing about another co-worker, thinking that all seizures are triggered by flashing lights or worse, that it had connections with insanity.  It was this moment that I realised that I could never be open and honest with my colleagues about my epilepsy as they were just not educated enough about the subject, and I was afraid of their judgements.

This company was the biggest that I had worked for, but its employees were the most unprofessional and closed-minded that I had ever seen and it shocked me. The experience at that company has been  the inspiration to this blog as I think it’s important to support people with epilepsy when they’re having a rough time and its vital reach as many people who don’t know about enough about epilepsy to stop stigmas.

 

My advice for work is to find something that makes you truly happy.

Doing a job you love, with colleagues you are also supportive of you.

 

You can find more tips and advice about epilepsy and the workplace at Epilepsy Society

Thanks for reading,

Becky 🙂

Final Update : Are you a Daffodil or a Dandelion?

Final Update : Are you a Daffodil or a Dandelion?

You might remember an old post of mine that mentioned that I was surprised to discover one of my favourite flowers (the hydrangea), had been damaged by the frost. 

I looked at the weeds in the garden (I have many), and they had survived unscathed. It made me realise that people are very much the same. What can effect one person can hardly bother another.

Due to its damage, I didn’t think the hydrangea would have any flowers this year. 

Over the weeks I have been amazed as I have seen the burnt-like leaves disappearing and big blue flowers emerging.

So if things are not going your way, if you’re like the frost-bitten, destroyed flower that I saw only a few weeks ago, they is always a chance that your future will be bright again. Anything is possible. 

Thanks for reading, 

Becky 😊