Apologies for being quiet for so long, life has been pretty busy over the last few months and I have got a (hopefully) exciting project underway which I will be more than happy to share with you all when it’s a little nearer to its completion.
Other than that, things have been really good, which is always nice to say. I realised that in August I will have been driving for three years – the time as gone so fast, it’s scary!
Also, as some of you may already know, I am an ambassador speaker for the charity the Humanimal Trust. I’ve written about the charity in the past (and probably will again soon), but if you would like to know more or are interested in having me come to talk for you (in Wales) simply contact us. More info is available here
I’ll aim to write some more blogs soon, I have noticed that since I began this blog its style has changed slightly. I quite like the eclectic mix. If there is any subject you want me to cover just say the word, as we know epilepsy is diverse and I want to help where I can.
And remember if anyone wants to chat about anything that is troubling them in any way I am always here just sent a message.
Onwards I ran,
From the ghosts of my past,
Through the forests I fled,
With no forward plan,
Just onwards I ran,
My sore, aching feet,
Always longing for rest,
Yet further I pushed,
Deep into darkness,
To the cold claws of night,
Hoping to find a feint glimmer of light,
Still onwards I ran, and I ran till I saw,
The bright light of day,
And nothing more.
I loathe society,
What to do,
Where to go,
What we should achieve,
Society says that if we listen,
If we obtain its ‘ideal’ goals,
Happiest will be found,
But is this true?
We cannot all be expected to achieve the same,
Everyone holds such individual dreams,
So, next time society says you have wandered,
You are living the life you are meant to.
To society you are perfect,
Yet I see your broken heart,
I know the sorrow in your soul,
I’ll take your shattered pieces,
Gather them up,
And make you whole.
I’m told I’m selective,
Too choosy with others
To hold close in my life,
I believe I have good reason.
Its hard to open up,
Explain your life to someone
View their silent judgements,
And watch them walk away.
They never knew,
But if I become honest,
It means I value you,
It means I trust you.
So If you stay,
Accept me, and witness my weakness,
Know it’s rare,
Know you are part of my select few,
Know that I love you.
Each day the sun rises,
Each day a blank canvas,
You decide who to be.
The past can hurt,
But the future is waiting,
Embrace it, be free.
I recently realised that I’m now over five years seizure free.
Having controlled epilepsy brings conflicting emotions. The majority of the time it’s great, yet life is never perfect, because life never is. 😄
I used to look at the glistening goal of being seizure free, to me, it was the solution to a my problems but I was wrong.
- My epilepsy hadn’t disappeared. It’s part of me, even if it’s dormant, I’ve accepted that now.
- People still had problems – friends, colleagues, potential partners etc. Would learn that I had epilepsy and regardless of whether it was controlled or not it was an issue for them. I wasn’t expecting that. (If anyone has an issue, they are not worth your time.)
- I felt I had more to lose – I now had a record ‘x’ amount of time and I would be doubly disappointed when it would all come crashing down. I then had a car, what if I lost that? I realised whatever happens will happen, just enjoy the good days.
These are also the reasons why I chose to write my blog.
I can remember sitting at my desk in work holding back tears after a painful experience and I thought how crazy it was. My situation shouldn’t have been a problem, then I wondered about every one else with epilepsy, how must they be feeling every day? More awareness is needed, and support is needed for those hard days.
And here we are,
This year has been great, here’s to the next!